Bitter Chocolate by Pinki Virani. Penguin.
I had read a few reviews of the book before I picked it up in one of the book festivals. I had only sociological interests when I heard about the book, but when I picked up to read it finally, I was more a parent.
The book is about Child Sexual Abuse in India, as the subtitle says. But what the book has in it is not just information. Once you read this book, you cannot just glance over newspaper headings like 8 yr old raped by uncle. It hurts you. You cannot ignore your daughter’s silences. It beats you.
Bitter Chocolate is extremely bitter. A very apt title.
I skipped some parts of it, because it was too disturbing at times. My way of escapism.
The writing is very gripping and touching.
See these:
“Every child who is raped by an adult turns into a statistic. A life barely lived, already a
horrific statistic”.
Then again,
“Somebody has used her like an ashtray and stubbed his cigarette all over her; somebody has then thrown her out of his car like garbage.
There she lies naked, her torn panties tightly clasped in her clenched fist.”
Another book, a novel, that brilliantly deals with child sexual abuse and the guilt it produces in the victim is Cereus Blooms in the Night – an all time favourite of mine. I would be re-reading it again and would write about it here. And remember the sensitive handling of the issue in the English-Hindi film Monsoon Wedding. And the recent one, Manorama Six Feet Under.
Read this very courageous book. I would want everyone who reads it to take the primary message the book gives: shatter the conspiracy of silence.
Bitter Chocolate is divided into three notebooks besides the preface and author’s note. It also gives youinformation about helplines and other books to read. Quite informative that ways. Pinki Virani has lots of data with her. Testimonials. Statistics. Anecdotes. News. Data which she very sensitively does not reduce to impersonal numbers. She brings forth the pain and agony in them. At the same time, this runs the risk of confused facts. Other than believing Virani’s words, and even if I don’t mind believing them, we have no way to read the sources she quotes. No references. No citation. That does not produce good research.
The same goes true for the journalese writing style. Some places, there is an overdose of drama. So much so that we get more interested in the details of abuses, rather than the discussion and inferences of them.
Reading narrations of abuses after abuses becomes disturbing. It is not only because of the disturbing nature of the abuse; it is also because the narrations do not lead to new findings or ideas. She does prove that child sexual abuse, as is commonly thought, is not characteristic of the lower class. That it is not happening to only girls, nor is it done only by men. However there are too many of the cases described. It does give you the extant to which the crime is prevalant, but it also breaks your reading interest.
However that is no reason to discard this book. One lesson I have learnt and promised myself not to unlearn ever: Listen to your daughter when she tells you she doesn’t like someone, Or when she asks you those supossedly dirty questions. Or when she is silent.
Had reviewed/written about this book in my blog too. Disturbing, is what I felt too. And it stopped being about the book, but about the importance of breaking that silence, as you rightly call it, the conspiracy of silence 🙂
Bombaydosti, thanks for the comment. I read your review too. Yes, you are right. The book is too disturbing. All the same, I hope more amd more of Indian parents read this book.
“Every child who is raped by an adult turns into a statistic. A life barely lived, already a
horrific statistic.”
Such sentences directly cuts through my heart.
The book is full of such disturbing quotes. A wonderful book!
I’m too, planning to write a review on the book.
The book is based on true true nd rely true facts nd dats d beauty of the buk…pinky virani has done a lot of research nd i rely appreciate it…
The book is based on true true nd rely true facts nd dats d beauty of the book….i rely rely appreciate pinky virani nd her efforts in d research for the book…
hello………… this is manjunath.y from bangalore i have read the preface of this book i really want to read this book..i feel this book is extremely generous and well informative about the sexual abusement especially on childrens i tried searching this book but could not get it please post it or tell me where i get.. i searched in many book stalls but could not succeed its my humble request…
address: N A 363 BEL COLONY JALAHALLI POST BANGALORE 560013
Manjunatha,
I do not know why the book is not available in bangalore…I guess I bought it from CrossWords..You can otherwise place an order in one of the bookstalls, they will get the book for you.
Yes, I picked it up from Crossword too. It is truly a distrubing read but I am proud that I read such an important book. I have reviewed it here: http://recommendbooks.blogspot.com/2010/05/bitter-chocolate-by-pinki-virani.html
What stood out most prominently in this book is the effort to bring this cause forward, to make not just society but also the parents that children don’t forget these things, their lives are scarred in a way or the other, forever!
hi smrithi,,,,,,, thank u for replying me ………. i placed a order in some book stall…… but the book is not available …. n also through politically book is banned its seems i heard ………… i do know how far it is true or wat……….. can u do me a fovour smrti……….. can u please make a photo copy of this book n get me …………. manjupapu78@yahoomail.com is my email id u can contact me through this…….. please if u can do the needfull